So over the week I have been slipping in the questions, statements, and requests into casual settings. Most of the reactions I wasn’t too surprised with, but a couple caught me off guard.
Here are the reactions to the requests:
Would you mind getting me a glass of water?
quieter voice, less confidence. Head down, shoulders rounded; rubbing neck, pulling ear
- My sister: we are both sitting on the couch, late afternoon. The Tv is on, but she is looking at memes on her phone.
- “No stop being so lazy. I’m doing something”.
- irritated with the question, however eventually gets me the water.
- not surprised she said no initially- irritated I would ask, but surprised she ends up feeling bad for me because she thinks I look “down”.
- My Mom: It’s around lunch time. She’s eating, I’m not. I’ve been reading a book near here.
- “Sure honey, do you just want water or something else too?”
- Happily gets me water, then proceeds to question if I am ok; if I need anything else; if I am sure I’m ok, because I don’t seem like it.
- Not surprised with the reaction- the body language probably endeared me to her more, educing some mothering reaction
- My Grandma: We are both eating a snack, mid afternoon. sitting down, close to the fridge.
- “Honey, you’re just as close to it as I am. You can grab it”. Slightly furrowed brow comes with this response.
- I end up getting my own glass. We continue to chat
- Not surprised– she’s not big on laziness and inducing pity doesn’t work on her
- My Grandpa: Just got back from a bike ride together. We are both in the kitchen
- Gets me a cup of water, then says “Bike ride tired you out, huh?”, then laughed, kissed my head, and walks out.
- Not surprised– he likes to dote
Would you make me a cup of coffee?
nonchalant tone. Chin up, Chest out. eye contact
- My Grandma: Thanksgiving day, I’m on my computer typing at the kitchen table. She’s prepping some food, a little more stressed out than she should be.
- “Give me one minute. You don’t want anything in it, right?” makes it almost immediately.
- Surprised- I expected her to say she was busy. But she seemed to take the question as a polite command (which surprises me more that she would comply).
- My Sister: Evening, a little before dinner. I’m reading, she’s on her phone.
- “I’m actually about to go get a pack of cigarettes” (She won’t quit no matter my rhetorical strategies I employ upon her). “Oh?” I say, looking straight at her, eyebrow raised. “Yep, but I can go through Starbucks and grab you something. My treat”.
- Surprised- I expected her to make me a cup when I asked, not offer to buy one. But she seemed anxious to please. I got brought back a “chestnut praline latte”- I do not recommend.
- My Mom: Mid-morning, I just came back from a run. She’s eating breakfast.
- “Sure. Do you want breakfast too?”
- Not surprised- She is always happy to baby her kids when they let her. Also, she does not tend to question a command.
- My Grandpa: After dinner, (my sister had brought me coffee before said meal).
- “You’re sister just wasted four dollars on a cup of coffee you only drank half of. And you’d be up all night”.
- I sit down to watch a movie with the family, shortly after he pours a glass of wine for he and my grandmother, then brings one to me.
- Surprised– by the slight chastisement. I don’t think I timed this one all too well.
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